I AIN'T SANTA CLAUS!!

One of my childhood memories of the holidays was looking through that Sears catalog with great excitement, pointing out all the stuff I wanted, as my mother looked on, almost cosigning my excitement. Then she said, 'Go show it to your Daddy,' with a voice of anticipation, like watching a car crash happen but being unable to look away. Being the obedient child I was, with that same eagerness, I ran over to where my father was and continued to speak and point out my wishlist. My father looked at me and the catalog a few times with a face of disinterest, and in his way of teaching me to be a man, he uttered these words: 'I ain't Santa Claus; I've been here all year!' So I decided to put it on a hoodie - another proverb from my daddy.